Today

Today my day was spent with a good friend whom I could really talk to. I guess I poured my grievances out in our discussion and because of that my stress level has plummeted like an anchor. Although I do not know what she is thinking for sure, some thinks I can tell because of our talks. She seems to no longer trust me, she seems to hate me or disgust me. I do not know how to comprehend the situation, it is something I can't and never will be able to learn in school. She likes me friend, plain and obvious and while I admitted that when she is happy, I am happy....somewhere deep in my heart I know that it is not true. I know I am lying to myself in order to hate her, despise her. I guess that is my way of forgetting about her and although she gives me happiness I cannot bring it to her. I hope that she could give me one last chance, one last LEGITIMATE chance where she where she is not interested in my friend.

I know that I am shy, I know that you know I am shy. So why can't I overcome this obstacle to be with you? I ask myself this question over and over, each time I come up with the same disappointing conclusion. I see you slipping away yet I do not have the balls to take you back. Please, please....come back to me