I know I messed up, everyone did not go as planned...like at this very moment I feel very bad. I really want to show you how much I like you but every time I am I talk to you a choke. It is as if ALL the words I know how to say fly away. I just wish you could read my mind, but obviously that is not possible.
Everyone makes fun of me in front of you. Is it truly impossible for us to be together? Our personalities I admit are so different but somewhere deep inside my heart I just cannot forget about you. But it is just so hard to talk with you, and somehow my insecurities and lack of confidence is making us drift farther and farther away. Its my fault completely. Why must I endure this pain on my birthday, I should be happy but I cannot be happy because you aren't. I can see you are not happy with my or happy in general with me. How can I even think about being with you if I know you are not happy with me. I must work on my confidence and just forget about my wrongs.
This is fucked up REALLY badly. My bad planning is bad. everything is bad.
see you
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