New Revelations

Mentally: Today is a day of new happenings for me. I started talking with her, but as a friend with no other objectives. It really is a difference for me to behold because I see how unnatural the flow the conversation used to be. Hopefully, this will act as experience for me to build upon for future acquaintances. Maybe someday in the future these skills may come back to you but as of now I know that once I enter one zone there is no turning back, at least easily, back into the original zone. Quite simply put it that we can probably never be, for a long while if at all. Behind all this lust and seeking for love, I am still a student whos job is to learn and learning is what I am doing. Next time it will be different, because I will be more experiences and more acceptable.

Physically: As some of you may know, I have been heading to the gym lately. I feel that all my life I have been wanting a better figure to hit the beaches and wear my clothes in. That is why I am changing physically because I want to be more presentable and remembered. They say first impressions are in some ways more important that continuing through because without a good first impression, odds are there will not be a need to follow through at all. I know you might think it is stupid because someone should not want to be friends with you because you are physically acceptable, since that is not liking the person for who the are but rather how the look. Well, to that I have no answer because I can not easily explain my reasons for physically improving myself. Badminton has been a sport I have loved for a long time and today I still enjoy every moment of it. All my life I have never earned a trophy in badminton because I never moved to the next level, my focus was always off. Should I try my hardest to earn a trophy and move to the next level? It is extremely hard training and in the end does that give me any benefit other than self satisfaction.....good question.

All I know is slowly I'm changing for the better, not because of you, but because of me. If you cannot accept me afterwards I will know that our chances are forever gone and that somewhere else resides a compliment whom is more suited to me and that genuinely likes me for who I am.