round two

All my life I have been so closed, I was so stupid not to take chances and make more friends and reconnect with old ones. Silly me trying to be tough and strong. However, now its different I here to meet new people and make new friends because I know that having more friends can never hurt!

This term seems to be an easier one but dam there is so little people during the summer term. Can't wait for fall semester haha. This term i'm taking calculus 3 and microeconomics. Calculus 3 seems to be very confusing....fuck me. Econ is....simplish as of the first week.

How do I get by my difficulties? Are there second chances? How can I improve? I want all these answers yet somehow I know that the answers will never be given to be so easily, but that the only way is to let go and find out for myself. I thought there was something, something true and real but instead I was tricked into thinking that, how foolish. My feelings are so mixed, what did I do wrong to deserve that answer or was it really genuine in the fact that your reasons were justified. Hopefully, I can have a second chance somewhere in the future where I am more experienced and that you have either changed your opinions about me. Because frankly I really like your personality and being around you really does make me feel nice inside. My feelings for you are true regardless of how I show it outside I hope that my inner most purest feelings will be recognized by you in time. It is my fatal flaw that I cannot express my feelings exactly how I think them because I am so shy, it has always been like that.... sometimes in order to drown my feelings for a particular person I will purposely treat them badly in order for them to hate because I know it cannot be. Hatred has the unique effect such that it can destroy even the strongest bonds between people and it is because of this I chose this step.

Haha, what am I saying, no one will read this anyways...this is like my one way of speaking indirectly to you and hopefully in time this problem can be eliminated in the future.

truthfully, i like you...fuck anything else

=]