I realized I have not updated in the longest while...so I decided to update. Well, it turns out that I still have not been to any of those signature "summer attractions". namely Playland and Summer Night Market. Playland did not happen after two failed attempts to get my group of friends to go with me. So, summer has been boring. In addition, midterms are coming up and that just makes my life even worse. School has been alright since I have friends in both my classes and it really helps pass the time.
Gym has been good, I am making progress by going up to 20 pounds for my biceps. Hopefully I can lose weight on my lower body. Next term I wanna look my best haha. My hair is so long and each time I decide to go the salon procrastination kicks in and my hair just keeps on growing. I thinking that a shorter cut this time ould be wise because of the hotter weather! Hot weather is directly related to increased beachtime and I cannot wait for the fireworks. Its nice that some company donated enough to keep the fireworks going this year because it was orginally going to be cancelled do to lack of funding. Props to that company! Fireworks brings me back to some past memories because I do remember thining of asking you to watch the fireworks with me...but obviously the chances of that happen are very slim. Oh well, some things I cannot control right!
more to come~
pzpzpz
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Good Going
This week has been absurdly unexciting. I guess it all has to do with the increase in homework load... nothing is really going how I wanted to. But, just like the countless things that happen in life, I cannot do much about it other than sit back and watch. Today you can say was a first in a while that I have talked with you. It really goes to show how easily I become so soft and weak. I is a change from my regular hard ans solid self which is consequently very closed and unemotional. Some friends I do question whether or not they should be my freinds, somehow I feel that they are giving me some attitude and I really need less attitude in my life.
Onto a lighter topic tho, I must say that economics is starting to boil the hatred out of me. Like seriously it grinds my gears so badly. At first impression it seems easy and relaxing because the professor is rather easy. After you get over this accent the good times roll. Sadly, I was mistaken because holy crap man my tutorial is a piece of crap because my TA seems like he JUST got off the boat. Like literally his china accent is stronger than the cologne I use....fuck that is strong. The only thing keeping me from switching is this cute girl in the class haha. But seriously, it gives her cuteness a run for its money. Just yesterday I spent a good hour listening to the TA talk about a "pita" and how it can be consumed in pieces...frankly it made no sense to me at all. It was only after class did I stay back and manage to ask him what he meant by "pita" when he drew out a PIZZA for me....like seriously isn't there some kind of oral screening before you can become a TA. So yea after that class my day was over.
Poker is so fun lmfao. But I just hate it when people cheat especially the dealer and especially when more than one person knows he is cheating. This kind of thing is one, very very coawrdly because we are only playing for less than 10 dollars. Why would you have to screw you friends all for 10 dollars. Whatever, I'm not going to call out names but seriously...wtf.
Onto a lighter topic tho, I must say that economics is starting to boil the hatred out of me. Like seriously it grinds my gears so badly. At first impression it seems easy and relaxing because the professor is rather easy. After you get over this accent the good times roll. Sadly, I was mistaken because holy crap man my tutorial is a piece of crap because my TA seems like he JUST got off the boat. Like literally his china accent is stronger than the cologne I use....fuck that is strong. The only thing keeping me from switching is this cute girl in the class haha. But seriously, it gives her cuteness a run for its money. Just yesterday I spent a good hour listening to the TA talk about a "pita" and how it can be consumed in pieces...frankly it made no sense to me at all. It was only after class did I stay back and manage to ask him what he meant by "pita" when he drew out a PIZZA for me....like seriously isn't there some kind of oral screening before you can become a TA. So yea after that class my day was over.
Poker is so fun lmfao. But I just hate it when people cheat especially the dealer and especially when more than one person knows he is cheating. This kind of thing is one, very very coawrdly because we are only playing for less than 10 dollars. Why would you have to screw you friends all for 10 dollars. Whatever, I'm not going to call out names but seriously...wtf.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Life
Everything follows a cycle and life is no exception, In recent year I have experienced the some of best moments, yet also some of my worst. My motto is that everything happening now is just experience, after all - what does not kill you only makes you stronger. This week was very hectic and tomorrow I might to to PNE! I wonder how it will be this time....nothing spectacular I suppose. Thinking about buying a light jacket, probably a windbreaker, for the summer.
On another note, last night I had a dream about the past. And frankly, I remembered how carefree it was in elementary school. For example, all we needed to do that whole day was practice the alphabet or complete a wooden puzzle. I remember that class was fun and always exciting, never was there girl problems or feeling left out. Now, everything is so complicated, like how a tree begins simple, few leaves and few branches....into a huge massive cluster of green which blocks out sunlight and destroys concrete. Each day there are so many things to think about, school, girls, clothes, friends, and social status. I wish there was some way to relive those early moments of my life because now I have learned to appreciate it for its entirety. This really does show the truth behind the cliche'd term "you do not know what its worth till its gone". What can I say now...well there is no way to go back, yet, but I guess I can always try and keep everything simple. K I S S - keep it simple, stupid.
On another note, last night I had a dream about the past. And frankly, I remembered how carefree it was in elementary school. For example, all we needed to do that whole day was practice the alphabet or complete a wooden puzzle. I remember that class was fun and always exciting, never was there girl problems or feeling left out. Now, everything is so complicated, like how a tree begins simple, few leaves and few branches....into a huge massive cluster of green which blocks out sunlight and destroys concrete. Each day there are so many things to think about, school, girls, clothes, friends, and social status. I wish there was some way to relive those early moments of my life because now I have learned to appreciate it for its entirety. This really does show the truth behind the cliche'd term "you do not know what its worth till its gone". What can I say now...well there is no way to go back, yet, but I guess I can always try and keep everything simple. K I S S - keep it simple, stupid.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Random
Recently I have come to notice that I have trailed in the past far too often. Worst part is, I wrote earlier that this stuff is all gone for me and that I would only look forward into the future. I'm a hypocrite.
Well, onto another topic...yesterday (May 20) my tutor started talked to me randomly on msn. I actually had not talked him for over month now because I stopped taking classes from him between the term break. The weirdest part was that at that exact moment I was going to ask him for help. So I spent the ten minutes talking with him over msn being really surprised and a bit mind-fucked. Haha so life happens.
Earlier that day, I had the chance to eat at Try-ty and my verdict is that it althought the actual restaurant presentation is worse, the food there seems to be cooked with more thoughtfullness in that they take their time. Their Three Spices Chicken was top notch and their Grapefruit bubbletea was on par with the other places I have had it. The bbt actually came in pretty large bottles and I swear that if I did not drink it and got it transfered to a cup, IT WOULD ACTUALLY FILL IT ALL UP. Thats new for me because usually drinking in the mugs they give you actually means u get jewed and get less drink for your money.
Now, for something messed up. I usually play badminton on Monday and Wednesday at school and quite frankly when I go there are either very little people or and amount of people such that there is room for me to play. Well, yesterday (a Wednesday) when I entered the gym it was jammed full with people playing badminton. You know I actually dont mind that other people are enjoying the sport as much as I do but there must be some kind of system to switch between people because basically I spent fourty minutes watching fat people or shitty people jump around TRYING to hit the birdie. It was quite the sight! Eventually I did get to play a game with some noobs, but come on even my neighbourhood community centre has a sign on system which rotates people out such that everyone gets to play. Example, I asked a fat kid whom I THOUGHT to be friend with to hit around and hes like NO GET OFF. But seriously now, fuck YOU fatkid you can barely cover that square meter of court that you are standing on....lets not talk about the front of the court. Alas, there is hope because I have scouted a pair of players who seem to know how to hold a racket =D boy am I happy. Next Monday or Wednesday we are going to play because I challenged them. But seriously, fucking fat kids.
Haircut haircut haircut....I need a haircut. Does anyone know a good salon whoz price is acceptable and knows how to cut good Japanese styles? Please let me know. I am currently considering Misako, Air, or Zeal. The latter two being about $40...shit son that is expensive.
Working out, now I am starting to see some gains on my biceps...I think taking it slow is the way to go for now as I build a good base to being with. My left arm is much weaker than my right arm and because of that I am focusing on low weight-high rep workout for my left arm to tone and build lean muscle, rather than bulk muscle. Running is also something I dont get enough of, I am trying to tone my lower body but I cannot seem to confine myself to a treadmill or to a course where I can stay focused on running....too lazy = =.
PS I cannot wait for fall semester!
Well, onto another topic...yesterday (May 20) my tutor started talked to me randomly on msn. I actually had not talked him for over month now because I stopped taking classes from him between the term break. The weirdest part was that at that exact moment I was going to ask him for help. So I spent the ten minutes talking with him over msn being really surprised and a bit mind-fucked. Haha so life happens.
Earlier that day, I had the chance to eat at Try-ty and my verdict is that it althought the actual restaurant presentation is worse, the food there seems to be cooked with more thoughtfullness in that they take their time. Their Three Spices Chicken was top notch and their Grapefruit bubbletea was on par with the other places I have had it. The bbt actually came in pretty large bottles and I swear that if I did not drink it and got it transfered to a cup, IT WOULD ACTUALLY FILL IT ALL UP. Thats new for me because usually drinking in the mugs they give you actually means u get jewed and get less drink for your money.
Now, for something messed up. I usually play badminton on Monday and Wednesday at school and quite frankly when I go there are either very little people or and amount of people such that there is room for me to play. Well, yesterday (a Wednesday) when I entered the gym it was jammed full with people playing badminton. You know I actually dont mind that other people are enjoying the sport as much as I do but there must be some kind of system to switch between people because basically I spent fourty minutes watching fat people or shitty people jump around TRYING to hit the birdie. It was quite the sight! Eventually I did get to play a game with some noobs, but come on even my neighbourhood community centre has a sign on system which rotates people out such that everyone gets to play. Example, I asked a fat kid whom I THOUGHT to be friend with to hit around and hes like NO GET OFF. But seriously now, fuck YOU fatkid you can barely cover that square meter of court that you are standing on....lets not talk about the front of the court. Alas, there is hope because I have scouted a pair of players who seem to know how to hold a racket =D boy am I happy. Next Monday or Wednesday we are going to play because I challenged them. But seriously, fucking fat kids.
Haircut haircut haircut....I need a haircut. Does anyone know a good salon whoz price is acceptable and knows how to cut good Japanese styles? Please let me know. I am currently considering Misako, Air, or Zeal. The latter two being about $40...shit son that is expensive.
Working out, now I am starting to see some gains on my biceps...I think taking it slow is the way to go for now as I build a good base to being with. My left arm is much weaker than my right arm and because of that I am focusing on low weight-high rep workout for my left arm to tone and build lean muscle, rather than bulk muscle. Running is also something I dont get enough of, I am trying to tone my lower body but I cannot seem to confine myself to a treadmill or to a course where I can stay focused on running....too lazy = =.
PS I cannot wait for fall semester!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
New Revelations
Mentally: Today is a day of new happenings for me. I started talking with her, but as a friend with no other objectives. It really is a difference for me to behold because I see how unnatural the flow the conversation used to be. Hopefully, this will act as experience for me to build upon for future acquaintances. Maybe someday in the future these skills may come back to you but as of now I know that once I enter one zone there is no turning back, at least easily, back into the original zone. Quite simply put it that we can probably never be, for a long while if at all. Behind all this lust and seeking for love, I am still a student whos job is to learn and learning is what I am doing. Next time it will be different, because I will be more experiences and more acceptable.
Physically: As some of you may know, I have been heading to the gym lately. I feel that all my life I have been wanting a better figure to hit the beaches and wear my clothes in. That is why I am changing physically because I want to be more presentable and remembered. They say first impressions are in some ways more important that continuing through because without a good first impression, odds are there will not be a need to follow through at all. I know you might think it is stupid because someone should not want to be friends with you because you are physically acceptable, since that is not liking the person for who the are but rather how the look. Well, to that I have no answer because I can not easily explain my reasons for physically improving myself. Badminton has been a sport I have loved for a long time and today I still enjoy every moment of it. All my life I have never earned a trophy in badminton because I never moved to the next level, my focus was always off. Should I try my hardest to earn a trophy and move to the next level? It is extremely hard training and in the end does that give me any benefit other than self satisfaction.....good question.
All I know is slowly I'm changing for the better, not because of you, but because of me. If you cannot accept me afterwards I will know that our chances are forever gone and that somewhere else resides a compliment whom is more suited to me and that genuinely likes me for who I am.
Physically: As some of you may know, I have been heading to the gym lately. I feel that all my life I have been wanting a better figure to hit the beaches and wear my clothes in. That is why I am changing physically because I want to be more presentable and remembered. They say first impressions are in some ways more important that continuing through because without a good first impression, odds are there will not be a need to follow through at all. I know you might think it is stupid because someone should not want to be friends with you because you are physically acceptable, since that is not liking the person for who the are but rather how the look. Well, to that I have no answer because I can not easily explain my reasons for physically improving myself. Badminton has been a sport I have loved for a long time and today I still enjoy every moment of it. All my life I have never earned a trophy in badminton because I never moved to the next level, my focus was always off. Should I try my hardest to earn a trophy and move to the next level? It is extremely hard training and in the end does that give me any benefit other than self satisfaction.....good question.
All I know is slowly I'm changing for the better, not because of you, but because of me. If you cannot accept me afterwards I will know that our chances are forever gone and that somewhere else resides a compliment whom is more suited to me and that genuinely likes me for who I am.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Long Weekend
Hey guys, I'm back =]
This weekend has been a blast! I'll split it into 2 days.
Friday: I woke up at 6:10AM to get ready for class and obviously I was grumpy from lack of sleep! Thankfully, my friend drives me on Friday to and from school and home. This time it was a bit different because tutorials kicked in this week and they stayed must later into the afternoon compared to the first week of classes. After my 8:30AM lecture I basically had nothing to do so I clowned around for an hour and headed to my friends lecture after that. That lecture I got to meet, more formally, a friend. Also in that class there was one person who laughed out the most hilarious laugh and the most random times. Such a deadly combo that it made the otherwise boring class into a unique experience. During the middle of the lecture two more friends joined us in that class and it just got mroe exciting from there. One thing that acted inversely to our excitement levels was that guy's laugh. After a while, that laugh became more of a bitchy disrupting grunt which basically ruined the learning experience for those who are actually in that class. The class ended and we went to get some munchies at the Korean place, their Udon, written as Udong on their menu, gave me lols for a short period of time. It was pretty good and by then it was about 3:00PM so we headed down the moutain back home.
Later that night we headed for some all you can eat(shit) sushi. Nothing spectacular food-wise but hanging out with my friends is nothing to complain about. We talked and got our fair share and paid and left. Some of the funniest conversations happen while eating and haha it just makes life more wonderful haha. After dinner we headed to a friends house for some poker and PS3 playing. Boy was I lucky, me and another friend ended up winning and splitting the pot, 7 bucks each! It was really a low buyin game, 2 dollars, but hey winning 5 dollars in profit is a nice little extra. So yea afterwards we left and that day ended.
Sunday: On this day it was friends birthday so we ate out at some restaurant. The food was similar to that of Whitespot and Earls. After dinner we paid and my bill was 14 dollars so I paid 20 dollars. The waitress being so kind to herself decided that me and a friend were both leaving her a 6 dollar tip so eventually I had to say something and we got some change back. I felt bad for doing that because I knew that she did serve us pretty well but not giving us change when obviously we paid too much is unacceptable. Anyways, afterwards we headed over to a friends house for a small houseparty since his parents are out. Over there we all enjoyed some drinks (gin mostly) and some fun game. In particular, this time we played a game where each of us picked a car from a set and the King named the consequence and also picked 2 other numbers which corresponded to 2 people and they would enact this punishment. Lucky me, I drew the King three times, yes three times booyah lets buy a lottery ticket!, and was basically homefree from punishment.
Now, I need to leave so me and a friend got a ride to the skytrain station and checking the bus timings I found out that we could make the last bus home at 12:21 if we caught the skytrain at 12:02. Sadly when we arrived at the skytrain station it was 12:09 and even knowing the possiblity of arriving to the last bus was not in our favor, we still pursued. Well, bad luck struck, and the train did not reach our destination and we were kicked off the skytrain. Seriously, fuck MY life. So the only way was right back to my friends house. While waiting for my freinds I really felt paniced. In my state of fear, because these homeless/ shady people were so close by, I thought about her. Truthfully I wanted to phone her and just talk since between us there has only been silence recently. I told myself that having her in my life was better than not having her in my life at all. Yet, somewhere in my heart I couldn't bring myself to press the call and talk to you. Maybe I am just a weaking, nothing more than a wooden maniquinne because all they do is stand there for eternity, locking themselves from their own feelings.
see yah guys.
This weekend has been a blast! I'll split it into 2 days.
Friday: I woke up at 6:10AM to get ready for class and obviously I was grumpy from lack of sleep! Thankfully, my friend drives me on Friday to and from school and home. This time it was a bit different because tutorials kicked in this week and they stayed must later into the afternoon compared to the first week of classes. After my 8:30AM lecture I basically had nothing to do so I clowned around for an hour and headed to my friends lecture after that. That lecture I got to meet, more formally, a friend. Also in that class there was one person who laughed out the most hilarious laugh and the most random times. Such a deadly combo that it made the otherwise boring class into a unique experience. During the middle of the lecture two more friends joined us in that class and it just got mroe exciting from there. One thing that acted inversely to our excitement levels was that guy's laugh. After a while, that laugh became more of a bitchy disrupting grunt which basically ruined the learning experience for those who are actually in that class. The class ended and we went to get some munchies at the Korean place, their Udon, written as Udong on their menu, gave me lols for a short period of time. It was pretty good and by then it was about 3:00PM so we headed down the moutain back home.
Later that night we headed for some all you can eat(shit) sushi. Nothing spectacular food-wise but hanging out with my friends is nothing to complain about. We talked and got our fair share and paid and left. Some of the funniest conversations happen while eating and haha it just makes life more wonderful haha. After dinner we headed to a friends house for some poker and PS3 playing. Boy was I lucky, me and another friend ended up winning and splitting the pot, 7 bucks each! It was really a low buyin game, 2 dollars, but hey winning 5 dollars in profit is a nice little extra. So yea afterwards we left and that day ended.
Sunday: On this day it was friends birthday so we ate out at some restaurant. The food was similar to that of Whitespot and Earls. After dinner we paid and my bill was 14 dollars so I paid 20 dollars. The waitress being so kind to herself decided that me and a friend were both leaving her a 6 dollar tip so eventually I had to say something and we got some change back. I felt bad for doing that because I knew that she did serve us pretty well but not giving us change when obviously we paid too much is unacceptable. Anyways, afterwards we headed over to a friends house for a small houseparty since his parents are out. Over there we all enjoyed some drinks (gin mostly) and some fun game. In particular, this time we played a game where each of us picked a car from a set and the King named the consequence and also picked 2 other numbers which corresponded to 2 people and they would enact this punishment. Lucky me, I drew the King three times, yes three times booyah lets buy a lottery ticket!, and was basically homefree from punishment.
Now, I need to leave so me and a friend got a ride to the skytrain station and checking the bus timings I found out that we could make the last bus home at 12:21 if we caught the skytrain at 12:02. Sadly when we arrived at the skytrain station it was 12:09 and even knowing the possiblity of arriving to the last bus was not in our favor, we still pursued. Well, bad luck struck, and the train did not reach our destination and we were kicked off the skytrain. Seriously, fuck MY life. So the only way was right back to my friends house. While waiting for my freinds I really felt paniced. In my state of fear, because these homeless/ shady people were so close by, I thought about her. Truthfully I wanted to phone her and just talk since between us there has only been silence recently. I told myself that having her in my life was better than not having her in my life at all. Yet, somewhere in my heart I couldn't bring myself to press the call and talk to you. Maybe I am just a weaking, nothing more than a wooden maniquinne because all they do is stand there for eternity, locking themselves from their own feelings.
see yah guys.
Friday, May 15, 2009
End of the week again!
Woot! Friday already! Having two days a week off a week really helps show how quickly time passes by. I guess it cannot be helped but sometimes I think I see you and it actually fightens me a little. Creepy-ish. Onto another topic, I actually finished like 90% of my math assignment for once, I guess studying does help a bit! So far these courses pose no threat to me, I feel so free to have fun and enjoy myself. I hate 830 classes gosh, I only get 5 to 6 hours of sleep on those mornings...its like torture.
more to come! pz
more to come! pz
Thursday, May 14, 2009
New Beginning
I'm back haha...
Today I was awoken by my mother as she was yelling at my sister. My room is downstairs and they were also downstairs, FML. I slept at 2AM last night and it was 730AM when this happened....less than 6 hours of sleep wow. Supposedly, I was to head out with my freind to hand out some resumes but that failed so I ended up going to the gym. It was pretty good, I got a lot of work done and had a lot of fun! I hope that this is the right direction for me to improve myself into a better shaped individual =]. Personally, I cannot wait for fireworks or even the weekly beach hangouts when the full force of summer catches on. I love summer, or at least i DID like summer- because it usually meant no school in the past haha. Now it seems normal for me to continue my studies all year long, what a bummer. This term at SFU must be one of the quietest I have ever experienced because the usual crowding in the Academic Quadrangle seems to have gone missing. O well, when next term comes it will be exciting again, I love meeting new freinds haha. I guess meeting new people is my excuse trying to forget about you? What am I saying, I am much better than that...outside no one can see my weaknesses because I hide all of that away.
Pearl Castle is pretty good, its actually better than the last time i went haha~ but fuck, their BBT costs like a dollar more now, fucking theives >=(.
Catch you later~
Today I was awoken by my mother as she was yelling at my sister. My room is downstairs and they were also downstairs, FML. I slept at 2AM last night and it was 730AM when this happened....less than 6 hours of sleep wow. Supposedly, I was to head out with my freind to hand out some resumes but that failed so I ended up going to the gym. It was pretty good, I got a lot of work done and had a lot of fun! I hope that this is the right direction for me to improve myself into a better shaped individual =]. Personally, I cannot wait for fireworks or even the weekly beach hangouts when the full force of summer catches on. I love summer, or at least i DID like summer- because it usually meant no school in the past haha. Now it seems normal for me to continue my studies all year long, what a bummer. This term at SFU must be one of the quietest I have ever experienced because the usual crowding in the Academic Quadrangle seems to have gone missing. O well, when next term comes it will be exciting again, I love meeting new freinds haha. I guess meeting new people is my excuse trying to forget about you? What am I saying, I am much better than that...outside no one can see my weaknesses because I hide all of that away.
Pearl Castle is pretty good, its actually better than the last time i went haha~ but fuck, their BBT costs like a dollar more now, fucking theives >=(.
Catch you later~
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I have decided to give up, I know it hurts to say this but I cannot continue on. Each time we talk, it is as if you want me to leave, you want me to vanish. My emotions are torn, I still just cannot believe what I am doing, will I regret this? Part of me sides with the string of hope still left between us, I cannot see it anymore because the string is so fine, so thin, so nonexistent. The other side is full of hatred and anger for pulling me along, for misleading me and wasting my time. I am sure that before this post the latter part of my emotions was succumbed totally by the side with hope and excitement. Now, it is an even match up with both sides fighting for all they have got. I guess maybe I should just leave it at this because the pain it brings me to write this, to anyone reading, is utterly unbearable, like a deadly fire consuming a mighty forest. There are others out there that will probably prove to be a better compliment to me and with this, I can say that I have gotten over it. Maybe in the future, some unknown time away we can have a chance but for now this is probably the end.
best wishes to you =]
best wishes to you =]
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
What is she thinking?
What are you thinking, can you give me a hint...I wish I could tell because then, either I could forget about you and move on or make the move. Are you trying to lure me in again, because I do not want to experience the feelings you gave me the first time, again. I am slowly improving myself and hopefully you may notice these improvements in the future. However, I want you to know that I changed myself not because of YOU, but because of ME. They say the future is unpredictable, and because of that I know that we can still have a chance.
Why is it that I am so attracted to you, it makes me clingy and desperate. Truthfully speaking you are not the most exciting person I know, not the prettiest girl I know....yet, somehow when I am with you it makes my heart jump and I feel compelled to make you happy. Your smile makes me smile, it makes me a mime. I don't tell you all the things I want to because i'm scared of your reaction.
Maybe it is time for me to move on.... sigh pz out
Why is it that I am so attracted to you, it makes me clingy and desperate. Truthfully speaking you are not the most exciting person I know, not the prettiest girl I know....yet, somehow when I am with you it makes my heart jump and I feel compelled to make you happy. Your smile makes me smile, it makes me a mime. I don't tell you all the things I want to because i'm scared of your reaction.
Maybe it is time for me to move on.... sigh pz out
Sunday, May 10, 2009
round two
All my life I have been so closed, I was so stupid not to take chances and make more friends and reconnect with old ones. Silly me trying to be tough and strong. However, now its different I here to meet new people and make new friends because I know that having more friends can never hurt!
This term seems to be an easier one but dam there is so little people during the summer term. Can't wait for fall semester haha. This term i'm taking calculus 3 and microeconomics. Calculus 3 seems to be very confusing....fuck me. Econ is....simplish as of the first week.
How do I get by my difficulties? Are there second chances? How can I improve? I want all these answers yet somehow I know that the answers will never be given to be so easily, but that the only way is to let go and find out for myself. I thought there was something, something true and real but instead I was tricked into thinking that, how foolish. My feelings are so mixed, what did I do wrong to deserve that answer or was it really genuine in the fact that your reasons were justified. Hopefully, I can have a second chance somewhere in the future where I am more experienced and that you have either changed your opinions about me. Because frankly I really like your personality and being around you really does make me feel nice inside. My feelings for you are true regardless of how I show it outside I hope that my inner most purest feelings will be recognized by you in time. It is my fatal flaw that I cannot express my feelings exactly how I think them because I am so shy, it has always been like that.... sometimes in order to drown my feelings for a particular person I will purposely treat them badly in order for them to hate because I know it cannot be. Hatred has the unique effect such that it can destroy even the strongest bonds between people and it is because of this I chose this step.
Haha, what am I saying, no one will read this anyways...this is like my one way of speaking indirectly to you and hopefully in time this problem can be eliminated in the future.
truthfully, i like you...fuck anything else
=]
This term seems to be an easier one but dam there is so little people during the summer term. Can't wait for fall semester haha. This term i'm taking calculus 3 and microeconomics. Calculus 3 seems to be very confusing....fuck me. Econ is....simplish as of the first week.
How do I get by my difficulties? Are there second chances? How can I improve? I want all these answers yet somehow I know that the answers will never be given to be so easily, but that the only way is to let go and find out for myself. I thought there was something, something true and real but instead I was tricked into thinking that, how foolish. My feelings are so mixed, what did I do wrong to deserve that answer or was it really genuine in the fact that your reasons were justified. Hopefully, I can have a second chance somewhere in the future where I am more experienced and that you have either changed your opinions about me. Because frankly I really like your personality and being around you really does make me feel nice inside. My feelings for you are true regardless of how I show it outside I hope that my inner most purest feelings will be recognized by you in time. It is my fatal flaw that I cannot express my feelings exactly how I think them because I am so shy, it has always been like that.... sometimes in order to drown my feelings for a particular person I will purposely treat them badly in order for them to hate because I know it cannot be. Hatred has the unique effect such that it can destroy even the strongest bonds between people and it is because of this I chose this step.
Haha, what am I saying, no one will read this anyways...this is like my one way of speaking indirectly to you and hopefully in time this problem can be eliminated in the future.
truthfully, i like you...fuck anything else
=]
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The first say =]
Hi everyone, this is my first entry...
This morning I awoke to my mom's voice. It turns out she was talking with my dad and even behind a closed door I could hear her. Last night I came home at 2AM from a freinds house, we were all playing Gran Turismo 5: Prolougue. First time for me to play it and boy it was hard!
For dinner we went to a Kingspark, I ordered egg swirl prawn noodles, fucking orgasmic. Saw and only friend sitting a table beside me and my freinds. I said hi, but I think he tried to speak to me but I had already turned away which obviously led to bad initial impressions. Why do I always do things that I dont mean. I guess thats life now isnt it =].
Yesterday was an eventful and enjoying day for me. Waking up at 610AM i got ready for school, lucky me I had a ride from my friend. First time getting a ride to school and all I can say is that it is a lot less stressful than the busrides. Plus I can say and talk whatever I want in the car and get away with it haha, the ride goes by really fast!
Once we got to school I found out that most of the parking lots at school cost the same other than the underground ones which are a bit more or so I heard. I can wait to drive to school and pay my first parking fee....how is that exciting you say? well, that would mean I would have gotten my N by then. Driving just makes everyone more accessable, not that public transit sucks..but it does. So my only class on friday is at 830am, which is the earliest class possible. So far calculus 3 has not been too challening but in order to stay focused in that class I must start drinking the coffee sigh... I remember last semester I drank coffee and my hands started shaking uncontrollably becuase i'm not used to the caffine haha! After the class I met up with some friends and talked a bit. For some reason its so easy to hang n express feelings to freinds because the consequences are so must easier to handle. Thats why I must make mroe friends and expand my network of freinds such that everyone knows me! That would be awesome to always have someone to hang out with at anytime during school haha.
Afterwards me n my freinds drove back to richmond and headed to parker place for the godly "chan dan mien" or in english it would be egg and luncheon meat instant noodles. It is so unhealthy but yet it is so good, fuck that seems similar to drugs to me haha.
pz out guys, until next time!
This morning I awoke to my mom's voice. It turns out she was talking with my dad and even behind a closed door I could hear her. Last night I came home at 2AM from a freinds house, we were all playing Gran Turismo 5: Prolougue. First time for me to play it and boy it was hard!
For dinner we went to a Kingspark, I ordered egg swirl prawn noodles, fucking orgasmic. Saw and only friend sitting a table beside me and my freinds. I said hi, but I think he tried to speak to me but I had already turned away which obviously led to bad initial impressions. Why do I always do things that I dont mean. I guess thats life now isnt it =].
Yesterday was an eventful and enjoying day for me. Waking up at 610AM i got ready for school, lucky me I had a ride from my friend. First time getting a ride to school and all I can say is that it is a lot less stressful than the busrides. Plus I can say and talk whatever I want in the car and get away with it haha, the ride goes by really fast!
Once we got to school I found out that most of the parking lots at school cost the same other than the underground ones which are a bit more or so I heard. I can wait to drive to school and pay my first parking fee....how is that exciting you say? well, that would mean I would have gotten my N by then. Driving just makes everyone more accessable, not that public transit sucks..but it does. So my only class on friday is at 830am, which is the earliest class possible. So far calculus 3 has not been too challening but in order to stay focused in that class I must start drinking the coffee sigh... I remember last semester I drank coffee and my hands started shaking uncontrollably becuase i'm not used to the caffine haha! After the class I met up with some friends and talked a bit. For some reason its so easy to hang n express feelings to freinds because the consequences are so must easier to handle. Thats why I must make mroe friends and expand my network of freinds such that everyone knows me! That would be awesome to always have someone to hang out with at anytime during school haha.
Afterwards me n my freinds drove back to richmond and headed to parker place for the godly "chan dan mien" or in english it would be egg and luncheon meat instant noodles. It is so unhealthy but yet it is so good, fuck that seems similar to drugs to me haha.
pz out guys, until next time!
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